Written by: Chuck Bomar
To continue this series, here I will issue 5 concerns I have with our structure of small groups. In the next section I will issue some specific ways in which my concerns affect our college ministries. But this must come first.
I want to make sure it's clear that these are concerns, not condemnations. There is certainly beauty that takes place in many small(er) groups. I do believe however that these concerns are things we ought to take into consideration and honestly process through.
Of course some of these concerns apply to some, not all, contexts and groups. But I do think that these apply to MUCH more than we’d like to admit. This structure we’ve instituted over the last 40 or so years, I think, needs to be evaluated clearly and honestly. This series is an attempt to help us do just that - especially in our individual college ministries.
An overarching question I’d like to ask for this is: Are small groups the BEST way to go about ministry with college-age people? Only you can answer that for your ministry - and I hope this conversation helps you in clarifying your position in the ministry in which you serve.
Here are my 5 concerns:
They have an illusion of accountability. Small groups are said to be a structure for accountability, but the truth is they are not. They are a structure for disclosure, not necessarily accountability. In a small group that meets weekly we are only accountable for those things we disclose to others in that particular group. This is “selective” accountability at best. To take this a step further we only disclose what we see in ourselves - which we know we are blinded to some things. In addition, we not only have to see the issue, but we must also want help with that particular area in our lives. True accountability comes when my friends know all my other friends. I can’t hide. True accountability comes when people see me - not at a men’s group - but with my wife and kids on a daily basis. People see all the areas of me, not just those I see in myself and disclose to others. This, is accountability.
They are centered on sameness. Generally speaking we structure small(er) groups around people that are the same as one another, often robbing ourselves of the beauty of being around people that are different than ourselves - even strangely so. The very core of the gospel values difference/uniqueness and certainly oneness, but not sameness. If we’re not careful our structure can violate what we say we value. And often times without us even realizing it.
They can make discipleship more difficult. Because of the value on sameness, we often separate older mature believers from younger. Eventually (and I’m talking about long-term realizations) this creates a chasm that’s very hard to fill. This shows itself when older believers are intimidated by the younger and the younger don’t feel like they can gain anything from the older believers. Our structure has taught them they needed connection with people just like them, not valuing difference.
They can enable compartmentalization. The reality is when I go to a “small group” once a week, it’s just that...once a week. It’s a compartment in my life. I go to it, join in conversation, possibly disclosing something about myself I know needs to be Christ-like, and then I leave and go back to my life.
They can enable (maybe even create) consumeristic mentality. Stemming from the previous concern, when I attend a small group once a week, this far too often feeds a consumer mentality in me. I go for what I get out of it...for my life. I go to get something. It’s focused on me. And the truth is if I don’t “get” what I feel like I need (notice all the references to myself), I leave. This consumer mentality, if we’re not extremely careful, can violate the core of what we say we believe about the gospel message.
Hopefully this serves as a catalyst for some thoughts...
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